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'Impressionistic' Blues journey worth the trip *
Well, I woke up this mornin' and, Lord, I had The Blues (PBS, Sunday, 8 p.m.). [More]

* Talking Pictures with John Keyes *
One man's opinion on film and television... [More]

*South Park goes South...again *
Banned by Comedy Central from showing an image of the Islamic prophet Muhammad, the creators of South Park skewered their own network for hypocrisy in the cartoon's most recent episode. [More]

22-Year-Old Canadian Wins €2 Million at PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo *
Glen Chorny, a 22-year-old business student from Ontario, Canada, won the biggest poker tournament ever held in Europe . . . [More]

24: The end of a very long day *
It's been another heady season on TV's 24. With the final hour about to unfold, The Globe's JOHN DOYLE, SCOTT COLBOURNE, ANDREW GORHAM and ANDREW RYAN predict what happens next [More]

TV Week trounces last days of TV Guide *
In September 2004, TV Week magazine doubled its editorial content. In addition to its comprehensive TV listings, the magazine refocused its editorial to target women by adding new columns about health, home, recipes and shopping. [More]

A blowout party, just what the doctor ordered *
Tonight's the big night for people who work in Canadian television. It's the gala night of the poor old Geminis (the POGS), airing on CBC at 8 p.m. [More]

A British take on Arnie's triumph *
In this post-sweeps period, it's mostly a matter of repeats tonight on the American networks and the Canadian carriers of American shows. Mind you, there is still plenty of entertainment from LaLa Land and from Toronto. [More]

A case of the pot calling the kettle black *
Just when you think things might settle back into the normal level of bitterness and confusion in the Canadian television racket, things get even more interesting. [More]

A celebration of the fallen from first to last *
In 1914, the population of the County Tipperary town in which I was born, and that of the town lands around it, was about 5,000 people. Some 1,500 young men -- mill boys, the sons of tenant farmers, servants and grooms to the gentry -- went off to fight in what was later called The Great War. Most of them never came back. [More]

A celebration of white trash with trust funds *
Members of the public should not be alarmed. They should remain calm. A major outbreak of rich American stupidity on Canadian TV tonight is not an indication of the end of civilization, as we know it. Everything is okay. [More]

A chance to get voted off the ice *
Reality TV comes to the rink with players facing cut... [More]

A Conrad and Barbara TV movie? No, eh? *
The news that CTV wants to do a TV movie about Conrad Black has brought smiles to the faces of many media types. But I'm not so sure that the idea thrills your average Canadian TV viewer. [More]

A crook with character trounces the competition *
We can run but we can't hide. It's Monday, it's winter, so let's start the week off with a cold dose of reality. Of course, there's reality, and there's reality TV, and never the twain shall meet. [More]

A desperate effort to dress up a sad genre *
By my calculation, by the year 2036, every single person in America will have appeared on a TV talent show. Half that number will also compete on Wheel of Fortune, except by then Vanna White will be a sassy robot. [More]

A dizzy whirl with geeks and cable guys *
Some days on this TV critics tour don't register until later. This one began with Jane Goodall clutching her monkey and ended at Spago in Beverly Hills, having sushi pizza with Ann-Margrock. I'm still not sure any of this really happened... [More]

A nook on TV for reality nuts *
Some other new digital ventures have already foundered, but the Documentary Channel is going strong, MICHAEL POSNER discovers. [More]

A rare glimpse of China -- and TV's power *
I don't know how late you stay up. Possibly, you go to bed straight after Canadian Idol (CTV, 8 p.m.). Tonight, maybe you won't be able to sleep because you'll be addled by the penultimate program and can't wait to find out who wins on tomorrow's show. [More]

A rueful look at boomers' lust for eternal youth *
I get lots of e-mails. Some are from producers and publicists pleading for attention to something on TV. Some are from readers calling me unprintable names and, once in a blue moon, I'm told that I'm a fine fella. [More]

A star is born in the world of Wayne's World? No way. Way. *
Hosting a show on cable TV brings fame, not much fortune, but lots of learning experience and satisfaction, SIMONA RABINOVITCH writes. [More]

A stealth attack the dudes can celebrate *
Says Andrew Ryan, writing in the Globe: "Nearly every guy I know has developed a wicked sweet tooth for watching this interminable, drudging war coverage. Most are watching CNN, even in the pubs. I think I've figured out why."
Monday, March 31, 2003 - Globe & Mail, Page R2 [More]

A TV season with too much reality in the wings *
There was a whole lot of schedule shakeup going on last week. The American networks announced their new fall lineups. The honchos in charge threw out some old stuff and bought some shiny new stuff. Then they told lies about how great the new stuff is going to be. [More]

A vote for Trump's Apprentice is a vote for Dubya *
George W. Bush has had a tough few weeks. That's the cliché being uttered all over the place. Some people are even pointing to the opinion polls and saying that Dubya could easily lose the election this November. [More]

A Wolf in Ewok's clothing, talkin' newspeak *
I always suspected Wolf Blitzer was a little guy and I was correct. [More]

ABC's adoption flap like taking ratings from a baby *
The phrase "crossing the line" has been in constant use for the past few days and the targets are Barbara Walters and Ted Koppel, of all people. [More]

Afghanistan: no jiggery-pokery there *
It seems ironic that The National, CBC's flagship news program, is airing from Afghanistan this week when the biggest political scandal in years is rocking this country. [More]

All hail 007, King of Scotland *
The CBC is showing a 1961 staged version of Macbeth tonight. REBECCA CALDWELL discovers how the film, starring a then-unknown Sean Connery, got made. [More]

Alliance action sparks union outcry *
News this week that Halifax production company Salter Street Films was closing shop is another example of the need for federal regulators to protect Canadian television drama, argued a coalition of unions representing actors and film production crews. [More]

Alliance Atlantis chops itself in half *
If you're a big fan of TV shows such as Da Vinci's Inquest or The Eleventh Hour, or you liked the film The Good Thief with Nick Nolte, the news that Alliance Atlantis is taking an axe to its entertainment arm -- apart from the hit show CSI, of course -- probably comes as a nasty shock. [More]

Alliance Atlantis fires 'Hitler' producer after comments *
In a TV Guide interview, Gernon compares the contemporary United States with Nazi Germany... [More]

Alliance shuts Great North *
Just days after hearing of the closing of Great North Productions -- once Canada's largest documentary producer -- workers are already planning their comebacks. [More]

American TV crew to shoot Prairie farmer's ordeal *
An American television crew is headed to Saskatchewan to shoot the story of a Saskatchewan farmer who cut off two of his fingers to free himself from machinery that had trapped him for nearly three days. [More]

An American Father Ted? Ah, go on *
My official reaction was, "It will never work." My unofficial reaction was "Feck, arse, drink!" [More]

And the laugh was still there *
John Doyle, well into his allotted 15 minutes south of the border, went toe-to-toe with Fox News' Bill O'Reilly and his ilk. Now he finds himself swamped with notes from sympathetic Americans who are frankly embarrassed for some of their countrymen. [More]

Another triumph for the TV tryst *
As Meredith Phillips gets set to announce her intended, she makes it clear TV's bachelorettes are focused on finding love, unlike those fickle stars of The Bachelor. [More]

Arcand carries off the Oscar for best foreign film *
Canada's premier director, Denys Arcand, showed his usual self-effacing irony last night after winning his Oscar for The Barbarian Invasions when he waived the opportunity to make the usual acceptance speech. Known as a critic of American culture and its excesses, he made the ultimate statement by not making one at all. [More]

Are there ta-ta talks at those closed-door meetings? *
Today's big TV event starts early. Starting at 9 a.m., across the American networks, and the all-news channels both here and in and in the U.S., there is live coverage of U.S. National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice's testimony at the Sept. 11 Commission. [More]

Arnold pumps up Leno's ratings *
Arnold Schwarzenegger's announcement that he was running for governor of California drew the second-highest rating of the year for NBC's The Tonight Show, Nielsen Media Research said on Thursday [More]

Arthur spinoff keeps Canadian content *
A new live-action and animation travelogue show is part of PBS's effort to offer more children's programming, PAUL WALDIE writes. [More]

ARTS NOTEBOOK: Look out, here comes 'Survivor: All-Stars' *
Get ready to welcome Rudy, Richard, Tina and other favourite Survivor castaways for a rematch on the upcoming Survivor: All-Stars competition. [More]

As media conspiracies go, kitten-eating is brilliant *
In the matter of the Ontario election, the Tories are correct. Last week, some genius at Tory HQ saw the light, slapped his head and issued a communiqué saying, "We have the media and special interest groups aligned against us." He was so right. [More]

Average day at The Office devastatingly funny *
It is a rare day when I can thoroughly recommend a wonderful menu of excellent programs, and today is one of those days. Chronologically, you have to start by watching one of the masterpieces of TV drama, airing on Vision TV tonight, but we'll get to that in a minute. [More]

Babs goes for the celebrity jugular *
Barbara Walters is back at it again tonight. The moon must be full because she's feeding again. [More]

Baby Bob's back and so are the nightmares *
The bad dreams are back, doctor. I can't stop having nightmares about Baby Bob (CBS, CH, 8 p.m.). [More]

Back in my day, the pants were better-looking *
Back in my day, we didn't have Canadian Idol on TV. Dimly, through the mists of time, I cannot recall anything similar. It must have been only Canadian pip-squeaks on TV. [More]

Banff TV body in money crisis *
Two weeks after Pat Ferns gave up his executive director's chair, the Banff Television Foundation has made another startling announcement: The venerable arts institution is filing for bankruptcy protection. [More]

Baryshnikov to star in Sex and the City *
He's Mr. Big in the dance world. Now Mikhail Baryshnikov is ready to take on Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City. [More]

Battle of the Idols *
Canada's Ryan Malcolm is in London battling the odds, nasty judges, excited schoolgirls -- and other pop-star hopefuls who are all bidding on untold fame and riches. [More]

BBC exposé says rescue of U.S. Army private faked *
The morale-boosting, too-good-to-be-true rescue of Pte. Jessica Lynch by U.S. special forces is put under close scrutiny by the BBC documentary War Spin: The Truth About Jessica, airing Sunday night on CBC Newsworld's Passionate Eye. [More]

BBC to launch on-line archive of shows *
The British Broadcasting Corp. plans to make much of its vast television and radio library, including portions of shows such as Dr. Who and Monty Python's Flying Circus, available for free on the Internet. It's an initiative that the BBC hopes will encourage other public broadcasters to do the same. [More]

Ben Mulroney: Sorry, girls, the boy is taken *
Once the boxers versus briefs issue was laid to rest, one burning question remained: Is he dating? SARAH HAMPSON's got the goods [More]

Blackout: It was like an episode of Lou Grant around here *
Did the power go out at your place, too? One minute I was at work watching Oprah, then everything went down to a tiny white dot. Then the dot went out. No TV for nearly 24 hours. It made me twitchy. [More]

Blood on the lens: the real war in Iraq *
It being Friday, you probably think that this column is your passport to fun for the weekend. Certainly, there is fun to be had, and the weekend is brimful of big-ticket TV events, but the single program that is required viewing is not fun at all. [More]

Brats on the brink *
Outrageous one-upmanship earns filmmaking duo a brash new CBC reality series that could become Canada's Jackass [More]

Brokeback Mounting parody smashes records *
Half-minute parody of film generates 1.4 million page-views in first month, 75 per cent more than previous top-viewed title. [More]

Buddies without borders *
Sopranos actor Joe Pantoliano is taking orders now from a Canadian boss, and all because he received 'a really nice letter' from the guy, JOHN DOYLE writes [More]

Buying into franchise TV *
Canadian producers are increasingly part of a worldwide trend toward acquiring formats of foreign shows that they can recreate at home, HAL NIEDZVIECKI writes [More]

Can we achieve World Idol domination? *
Tonight we'll find out what the rest of the world thinks of Canada. Let's hope they really, really like us. [More]

Can't wait for Saddam's TV trial *
Saddam Hussein went down with a whimper, not a bang, but America will take the win anyway. [More]

Canada Day's bizarre lineup *
It's Canada Day, up Canada way, and what do we have to celebrate? Well, gay marriage and more lenient pot-possession laws, I suppose. Not going to war, perhaps. Surviving SARS is another one. Never mind -- we can just have a party for the heck of it. [More]

Canadian Idol relies heavily on mob psychology *
A while back, when comedian Ron James was introducing CBC-TV's new fall season, he said, "If it wasn't for CBC producing their own product, all the country would be watching half-a-dozen amateurs from Scarborough singing April Wine cover tunes on Canadian Idol." [More]

Canadian television: A new era of cheapness that's sure to Alienate *
I have seen the future of Canadian television and it's called Alienated. It is also certain to alienate a lot of people. [More]

Canadian TV producers prepare for more bad news *
Producers and broadcasters are girding for more bad news Tuesday as the Canadian Television Fund announces who will be getting what from a $64.5-million fund for drama, variety and comedy shows. [More]

Canadian war hero makes triumphant return to former battleground *
Spitfire Ace goes back to Malta where he is given a hero's welcome. . . [More]

Canadians shouldn't be denied Fox News *
Canada made The New York Times last weekend, and that is never a good thing. [More]

Candidates line up to visit Jon Stewart *
Four presidential candidates are lined up to visit Jon Stewart on "The Daily Show" over the next three weeks as Comedy Central's satirical news review ramps up its cheeky "Indecision 2008" coverage. [More]

Cannes clips *
Sweet, sensitive Claire Danes from television's So-Called Life fighting deadly killing machines out to destroy humanity? [More]

Canuck bucks head south for new shows *
For the past while, I've been telling you until I'm blue in the face that Canadian television is in a shocking state of confusion. I know it's hard to tell from the wee picture on my right (your left) but I am actually blue in the face. [More]

Carlyle's talent saves Hitler series *
It is Robert Carlyle's performance that saves Hitler: The Rise of Evil (Sunday, CBS, CH, 9 p.m.) from being an awful TV miniseries. [More]

Cash video could steal the show *
This week's MTV Video Music Awards, celebrating a medium that usually oozes youth and invincibility, would seem like the last place to celebrate a sombre video with a frail, 71-year-old Johnny Cash. [More]

CBC announces kids fall lineup *
Alien Blobheads who emerge from a toilet and farm characters on Tractor Tom are among the newcomers on CBC kids' shows this fall. [More]

CBC on defensive over trip to Kabul *
Peter Mansbridge's stint in Afghanistan was seen as a way to improve CBC News' image, in the wake of a recent study that suggested the public broadcaster seemed stuffy in the public's eye. [More]

CBC sends in the knucklehead police *
It's not the language police who should be investigating Don Cherry. It's the logic police. [More]

CBC's big fat doc skips thin issue *
Not long ago, everybody was up in arms, complaining that television is responsible for forcing people -- especially young women -- to be skinny. The consensus was that everybody on TV is thin and that this presents us an unrealistic ideal. [More]

Celebrity culture sinks to new low with Punk'd *
This Ashton Kutcher fella is quite the card, isn't he? [More]

Celebrity Moustache Book honours Canadian band 'THE GUYS' *
Is "Man With A Moustache" the first theme song of the literary world? [More]

Channel arrives to help fill void of men's TV *
As everybody knows, there is a terrible shortage of things for men to watch on TV. [More]

CHUM apologizes for Conan sketch *
A TV comedy sketch in which a grouchy puppet took potshots at French Canadians was called unacceptable and racist garbage by some federal politicians Friday. [More]

CHUM cutting 29 jobs at Victoria TV station *
CHUM Ltd.'s television unit will cut 29 full and part-time positions at its Victoria television station, The New VI, including those of politico Moe Sihota and Pia Shandel. [More]

CHUM heads West to give some boom-boom TV *
Attention people of Calgary, Edmonton, Winnipeg and Brandon. Brace yourselves. The CITY-slickers are coming to your town. [More]

Clear as mud: Canadian TV producers despair *
The Canadian television industry is stupid.

Not necessarily the people who make the programs or the shows that end up on our TV screens. What's stupid is the system in which these people work and which provides the money for the programs we supposedly want to see. And because it is stupid. [More]

CNN's sturdy little hoot owl meets scary Jerry *
Today is Labour Day, which is why we're not working, if that makes any sense. To me, it's a day of queasy, wrenching recall -- memories of going back to school and, scarier still, The Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon. [More]

Cocky CBS playing with fire *
What's really interesting about CBS right now is its breezy tendency to alienate people. Talk about pride before a fall. While the other networks are weeping and gnashing over a season gone horribly wrong, CBS couldn't care less. [More]

Cold Squad, Cold Case: Similar, or what? *
The curious case of the American show Cold Case, which to some Canadians looks like a rip-off of the Canadian show Cold Squad, is now red-hot. At last, there is a suggestion of a fight over the fact that the new hit CBS series mimics the Canadian series. [More]

Come on, people. Ottawa wants to hear from you *
Do you have a pen and paper handy? Good. Write this down -- "Dear CRTC." You can continue from there and I'll gladly leave the rest up to you. But first I'll explain... [More]

Comic agent man *
Both Tom Green's gig as a mild-mannered talk-show host and Mike Bullard's surprise move to a new network owe something to Howard Lapides, the man behind their careers, writes MICHAEL POSNER [More]

Coming soon: Conrad Black the movie *
A movie-of-the-week about the life of Conrad Black could be on the CTV schedule as early as 2005, says a network spokesman. [More]

Comment: Ritter's death impacts network *
The death of actor John Ritter creates a void in ABC's primetime lineup. Ritter's untimely passing yesterday has effectively derailed the production of 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter, a sitcom anchoring ABC's Tuesday-night comedy lineup... [More]

Conan gets creative with his Canadian invasion *
The comedian tells SIMON HOUPT of his plans to bring along high crime, George W. Bush and a pinch of saffron. [More]

Conan gets the last laugh *
We are taking suggestions for new, recurring characters that O'Brien can feature on future broadcasts. E-mail them to conan@globeandmail.ca, and don't limit your imagination to Tiny Tim Horton or Bob the Angry Mountie. We'll print the best in Saturday's Review. [More]

Conan rules Canada this week *
They must be saving the maple syrup for later in the week because the first Toronto taping of Late Night with Conan O'Brien on Tuesday night left no other Canadian cliché unclobbered. [More]

Courtney vs. Whitney: Duelling Drama Queens *
Courtney Love and Whitney Houston are undeniable divas, hailing from diametrically opposed ends of the musical spectrum. They rarely have to go looking for trouble because it always seems to find them. Last Monday, Whitney entered a drug rehabilitation facility in Los Angeles to undergo treatment for unnamed substances. She went into rehab the same week her husband, pop singer Bobby Brown, was finishing a 60-day sentence for probation violation. [More]

Craig slate heavy on talk *
Calgary-based Craig Media kicked off its fall schedule yesterday announcing a plethora of high-profile talk shows, big brand sports, Hollywood movies and a new specialty channel, Stampede, which is billed as the "urban cowboy" station. [More]

Crewson: 'I'm a consort of presidents and kings' *
Wendy Crewson joins a talented team of Canucks in the third season of 24, GAYLE MacDONALD writes. The White House setting is a familiar one for her. [More]

Critic to Vegas: Ta-ta for now, I'll take Miami *
I've never been to Las Vegas and I have no plans to go. That's where Celine Dion is. Nothing good would come of it. [More]

Critics' Day 2: dumb and dumber on cable *
The original Dance Fever was a kitschy-cool show, ANDREW RYAN writes. But the remake is a mess, despite Merv Griffin's fancy footwork [More]

CTF throws funding lifeline to popular programs *
There was good news and bad news in the Canadian TV industry yesterday as the Canadian Television Fund announced the recipients of $64.5-million from its Equity Investment Program. [More]

Cunning and cruelty, with outbreaks of humanity *
It being Monday, we are obliged to return to the topic of CBC's prime-time lineup. Stop sighing, already. In some distant future, when hockey is the only prime-time content on CBC for Monday and all other evenings, we can stop doing this. For now . . . [More]

Curling, Canadian Tire and other Commie plots *
Well, it seemed that we could leave this Fox News to one side for a while, but no such luck. I am informed that on Wednesday evening on the Fox News Channel, chief ranter Bill O'Reilly took a swing at me, The Globe and Mail, and the CBC. I'll admit that I've been baited into paying attention. [More]

Cuts loom for TV shows *
The Canadian Television Fund (CTF) is expected to slash the number of programs dramatically that will qualify for subsidies in the 2003-2004 season. [More]

Daily Show Blog worth bookmarking. . . *
Here's a great TV blog you'll want to bookmark. . . [More]

Daily Show ratings beat Bullard *
It was hyped as a showdown of equals. But ratings for the first week of the midnight faceoff between Global's new The Mike Bullard Show and CTV's The Daily Show with Jon Stewart show it's not a neck-and-neck race. [More]

Daily Show to air reports from Iraq *
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart -- whose fake news coverage has long included phoney "remotes" from war-torn Iraq -- will be reporting from Iraq for real, next week. [More]

Dar Heatherington meets Marshall McLuhan *
Our topic today is exhibitionism. Television encourages it here, there and everywhere. [More]

Dates and times may vary -- you're on your own *
I know, I know. TV dramas and sitcoms are being moved around at breakneck speed. You're having trouble finding your favourite show. Listen, even I have trouble finding your favourite show and I'm paid to pay attention. Every channel is chopping and changing, even the CBC. [More]

Dead Like Me (Garber review) *****
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen anything good on television, it seems. Well. . . anything television-like that has been good. You see, today’s DVD review is from a television series, but most of us have not yet seen it on the tube. [More]

Designer Frank Fontana rescues homeowners from Bad Taste on HGTV's 'Takeover my Makeover' *
When bad designs happen to good people, HGTV is there to turn things around in Takeover My Makeover, an entertaining new weekly series premiering Saturday, May 6 at 7:00 p.m. ET/PT. [More]

Did Conan reveal our inner barbarian? *
Wow. Take a Valium, Canada. [More]

Dirty prime-time things *
This year, Valentine's Day arrives amid a veritable orgy of libidinous television. As GAYLE MacDONALD discovers, the sexiest new shows have little to do with love, flowers or monogamy, and everything to do with breaking TV taboos. [More]

Does anyone take decorating shows seriously? *
Does anyone really take those guerrilla decorating shows seriously? Trading Spaces, Changing Rooms, Designing for the Sexes, Debbie Travis' Facelift, Ground Force, Love By Design, While You Were Out and so on. [More]

Dr. Richard Hu: Nurse, get me a fork *
He's already a dab hand with the scalpel, so why shouldn't Dr. Richard Hu launch his own Calgary cooking show featuring surgeons and shanks? GAYLE MACDONALD pulls up to the table [More]

Drowning in swag for a good cause *
There's a very good rule at this newspaper: You don't accept swag. Not at Christmas, not ever. I'm convinced the no-swag rule is carved somewhere on a wall in the bowels of this building. They take it that seriously and rightly so. [More]

Dull day brightens as Bullard goes Global *
Mike Bullard shook things up on a dull day of mind-numbing American piffle culture. Typical. [More]

Emmy fashions to be auctioned for charity *
Jennifer Aniston and Edie Falco won't just look good at Sunday's Emmy Awards. They'll be doing good, too. [More]

Enough of the headscarf-and-handbag humour, b'y *
You can get away with murder in this country if you do it with the right accent. [More]

ER episode under fire *
CNIB protests over storyline in which vision impairment leads to suicide. [More]

Exposing the truth behind the falsehoods *
It's Monday morning, you're cranky already, and so you might as well hear the blunt truth. Most of what you've read recently about American television is crap. [More]

Fame or bus *
Canadian comic Carmen Stockton once fled L.A. on a Greyhound. Now she's heading for stardom on public transit [More]

Father Moses still an influence as CHUM grows *
Some insiders say it will be impossible to de-Znaimerize the company, while others feel the new team is right to impose its own style. [More]

Fifteen minutes can seem an awfully long time *
Earlier this week I sat in a darkened theatre and listened to some shameless shilling from Gene Simmons. [More]

Filmmaker Spike Lee and Viacom settle lawsuit *
Filmmaker Spike Lee and Viacom have settled a lawsuit Lee filed to keep the media giant from calling its TNN cable television network "Spike TV." [More]

Finkleman's George: So loathsome, it's awesome *
A reader wrote to me recently and asked, pithily, "Can you explain this Ken Finkleman to me?" Before I could muster a cogent explanation, a journalist was in touch, asking for my opinion about Finkleman's work for a magazine profile she's working on. [More]

First Light offers rare blend of beauty and brains *
It's a new week, thank goodness. Here in the TV cranny, we're just glad that last week's various storms and flurries are behind us. It may be temporary, but we'll carry on regardless. [More]

Flawed Disclosure was better than icky reality TV *
Over at CBC, the bosses have been making a list and, more or less, doing their internal version of who's naughty and who's nice. [More]

Flu . . . what flu? How to ignore the superbug *
I didn't get a flu shot. Never had one, never wanted one, but now it's all I can think about because CNN has convinced me the flu is going to erase all of us this winter. I suddenly have the chills. [More]

For ABC it's Barr none *
Two days, two cancellations for Roseanne Barr. [More]

For CBS, it's okay to talk profits, but not pervy stuff *
An American TV executive is perfectly prepared to talk about profits and the pedigree of new TV shows, but he's not prepared to talk about genital warts. [More]

For Eminem, the butt stops here *
Eminem's moon has been eclipsed -- is he the butt of jokes? [More]

Fox News. Not here yet, but already hilarious *
I've never been called "a douche-nozzle" before. At least, not that I know about anyway. The insult came from one supporter of the Fox News Channel. [More]

Frasier finale points to end of sophisticated comedy *
If you watch television in search of genuinely clever wit and fine acting, the series finale of Frasier (NBC, Global, 8:55 p.m.) is an event of much greater importance than last week's ending of Friends. [More]

Frasier to end in May *
After some brief talk of keeping the show going for a 12th season next fall, NBC said Monday that its five-time Emmy-winning comedy, Frasier, will call it quits in May. [More]

Frasier: So long to an old friend *
This parting seems particularly sweet sorrow for Kelsey Grammer. He'll soon say farewell to Frasier, his enduring, endearing TV creation, and the sadness shows in his eyes and in his voice. [More]

Free Cable on 'Dish Network' -- Guess again (it's a scam) *
A little research reveals that this is a scam, supplying you some access -- and it isn't entirely legal, either. [More]

From gator wrasslin' to sex doctor, it's a living *
Most people like to talk about what they do for a living. It's our nature. We all think we're interesting, when it comes down to it. [More]

From hockey nights to reality bites *
I gather tonight's TV in Canada is entirely dominated by coverage of the Stones-and-friends concert. Okay so let me tell you a story about another show that airs tonight -- that Paradise Hotel (Fox, 9 p.m.) thing. [More]

Fun, fear and a well-lit bosom: 24's back *
For weeks, I've been seeing the slogan in magazine ads: "To stop a weapon that has no cure . . . you need a man who knows no limits." That is so true, I keep thinking. In fact, that slogan explains why the world needs television critics. Am I right? [More]

Fund aims to match talent with opportunity *
Toronto 1, a new soon-to-launch TV station, unveiled two production funds yesterday, totalling almost $15-million, one of which is available strictly to "producers of colour." [More]

Futurama on DVD *****
I'll admit that Futurama is one of my all-time favourite cartoon shows, and I considered throwing myself into a suicide phone booth (the way that Bender and Fry met) when the series got cancelled, but the arrival of this timely DVD has given me a new lease on life. [More]

Garber Gastronomic: Best beverage ads on TV *
Food sales trends? What makes for a great television ad? I believe it's the inherent entertainment value. [More]

Garber Gastronomic: TV Dinner: Da Vinci's Inquest *
Ever wonder what the stars eat when they're working on television shows and films? Or what they like to whip up at home in their "real" lives? You can bet it isn't what you imagined. [More]

Gas, food, laughing *
Standup comic Brent Butt's new sitcom is set in the make-believe town of Dog River, Sask. But his aim isn't just small-town humour, he tells GAYLE MacDONALD. [More]

Gay reality TV's black-and-white views *
A new reality-TV makeover show on Bravo! says strange and confusing things about how we as a society view homosexuality. The show is called Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and it airs on Thursday evenings. It involves five gay "style experts" who do makeovers on sad-sack straight guys who need a new look or a new apartment or who are going for a job interview or getting married. [More]

Gemini Awards are so bad they're almost good *
Things change, and then sometimes they don't. The poor old Geminis (hereafter referred to as the POGs) are back. There was an announcement the other day for the final and allegedly most glamorous batch of Gemini Award nominees. The POGs are the awards for English-language television, in case you've forgotten [More]

Get him while he's hot *
Ryan Malcolm captivated viewers of TV's Canadian Idol talent-show extravaganza. But the question now is whether he himself will remain captive in Idol-related recording contracts and publicity commitments or whether his career will be given room to grow. [More]

Get set for a gawk fest: It's Emmy time! *
For the second consecutive day, I'm obliged to exclaim, "Oh, my shattered nerves." This is the first busy weekend of the fall -- the weekend that kick starts the American network season and it's also a busy weekend on Canadian TV. There are new episodes of shows already seen in the United States, a terrific HBO movie turning up on CBC and, heavens, a Canadian show about chaps taking off their clothes. All that, and the Women's World Cup of Soccer starts too -- check your local listings and the Sports section for that. [More]

Get your boogie-woogie shoes on for the Disco Ball *
I don't talk about it much but I've always been more tolerant of disco music than most normal people. It's probably because I worked at a disco during its hip-bumping heyday. The things I'm willing to admit out loud. [More]

Give ear to our unsung musicians *
There is so much television, most of it going 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You know that sooner or later your life and television intersect. [More]

Global and NBC say 'Deal' to Howie Mandel for new comedy series *
Global Television and NBC confirmed today its broadcasting deal with Howie Mandel (host of hit game show "Deal or No Deal") for an unscripted comedy series "Howie Do It" (working title) in which he will star and produce. [More]

Global doc a misfire in tin-pot 'media war' *
Global is reopening a can of worms tonight when it repeats an already controversial documentary. [More]

Global's fall lineup heavy on U.S. fare *
Global Television has added a slew of big-name, U.S. programs to its fall schedule, and promises to deliver lots of skin, celebrity and brotherly love. [More]

Gloria Reuben: 'I follow the path that unfolds before me' *
It may sound New Agey, but the former ER star believes synchronicity plays a part in where she ends up next, SARAH HAMPSON writes. Right now it's a new TV series [More]

Goal is releases 'in the creases' *
CBC Television's strategy to try to grab more eyeballs in 2003-2004 is to stagger the air dates for its new and returning programs, and basically carve its schedule into five distinct parts... [More]

Good, clean summer fun (Cole) *
You know how children want their food the same and are keen on recycling? Hollywood is like that too as it dishes up its kiddie menu over the next few months, STEPHEN COLE finds [More]

Gore buys former CBC channel *
After months of speculation, former U.S. presidential hopeful Al Gore and some well-heeled partners finally cemented a deal yesterday to acquire the 24-hour cable channel Newsworld International, which is programmed by the CBC. [More]

Great White North Park *
Canada finally gets another animated series to rival the likes of Pingu and The Racoons. Only this time, parents might want to tuck their kids in before it airs. [More]

GUNG HAGGIS FAT CHOY -- The CBC TV performance special *
Another chance to catch Gung Haggis Fat Choy...CBC-TV, 7pm, Wednesday, February 9th, 2005 [More]

Halifax miniseries meanders till sparks fly *
Approaching CBC's four-hour miniseries Shattered City: The Halifax Explosion (CBC, Sunday, Monday, 8 p.m.), I wasn't sure what to expect. [More]

HBO dramas top awards list *
HBO's Sex and the City and Six Feet Under each collected three nominations from the Directors Guild of America on Tuesday. [More]

Hear my song, see my thong *
Say it ain't so, J.Lo. Don't tell us you can't drag your fine self to New York for The MTV Video Music Awards (MuchMusic, CITY-TV, 8 p.m.). Please think about it, J.Lo. Bring Ben, if it's about all that. [More]

Heeere's Tom: The gross-out king is back *
The extreme Tom Green is planning to emulate such great talk-show hosts of the past as Johnny Carson [More]

Here's to the nattering nobodies who hate the CBC *
Former British prime minister Harold Wilson once said: "A week is a long time in politics." Don't get me started. A week is an eternity in television. A fella goes on the lam for a week and all hell breaks loose. [More]

High noon and hosers at the Parliament Hill corral *
Today is Canada Day, which should now be obvious since we aren't at work. It is one of our precious few national holidays and this year it falls on a Thursday, which is incredibly disorienting. [More]

Hitched, geeky and overweight: TV for everyone *
Well, the weather outside is frightful and getting more so each week, but this is December in Canada, after all. Don't take it so personally. [More]

Hitler, Martha: must be sweeps *
Only the desperately cynical would suggest that the U.S. networks planned their May sweeps schedules in clandestine consort with the war effort, but think about it: If new TV movies about Hitler, Martha Stewart and Three's Company don't distract and entertain the American viewing public, what will? [More]

Home Improvement's hidden neighbour dies at 61 *
Actor Earl Hindman, best known for playing a neighbour whose face was forever obscured by a fence on the television show Home Improvement, died of lung cancer Monday. He was 61. [More]

Idol takes run at TV viewing records *
Canadian Idol continued its run to become one of the highest-rated Canadian television series ever this week, after attracting 2.13 million viewers to its Motown show on Monday night. [More]

Intimate portrait of celebrated jazz musician Linton Garner to air on Nov. 27, 2003 *
Intimate portrait of celebrated jazz musician Linton Garner to air on CBC Television Opening Night on November 27th. [More]

Is this the saviour of Canadian TV? *
Last Thursday was one of those days on my beat. From beginning to end, it illustrated what a mess we're in. [More]

It all comes down to the tale of the tape *
Who's going to become our first Canadian Idol? Don't try to pick the winner, says ANDREW RYAN. It's too close to call [More]

It's hard to watch Monica and not think of cigars *
Tonight, our old and cherished friend Monica Lewinsky returns to the airwaves. This is news that will surprise nobody. In fact, the only surprise is that it hasn't happened sooner... [More]

Jack Paar dead at 85 *
Jack Paar, who pioneered late-night talk on The Tonight Show, then told his viewers farewell when still in his prime, died Tuesday. He was 85. [More]

Jackson reluctant to talk about boob-oo *
Unlike the last time she appeared on CBS, Janet Jackson was bleeped by censors Monday while talking to David Letterman — for saying “Jesus!” [More]

Jacob Two-Two meets his cartoon debut *
Richler's celebrated book comes to animated small-screen life in a new YTV series to air tomorrow morning [More]

Jay Leno to exit Tonight Show -- in five years *
The title of NBC's long-running nightly talk show is going to change: The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, it was announced yesterday, is going to become The Tonight Show with a wacky Irish Catholic (from Brookline, Mass.), Conan O'Brien. [More]

Johnny Rotten to appear in reality TV show *
Johnny Rotten – the icon of angry punk music who once revelled in being “an antichrist” and compared Britain to a fascist regime – has agreed to appear in the reality show “I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here!” [More]

Jon Stewart's pre-Oscar host biography *
Jon Stewart's career profile before he hosted the 2006 Oscars. [More]

Just married -- and panicking *
The honeymoon's over, you've moved into your rundown starter home and now you're fighting over the last biscotti. But help is at hand, reports JESSICA JOHNSON, from a burgeoning industry aimed at easing newlyweds through the first year of marriage. [More]

Katie, Karen; they all look the same to me *
NFL football player Jesse Palmer made his small-screen debut on Bachelor on Wednesday night, and fumbled as he confused names in his first rose ceremony. [More]

Kid Notorious: Yoda turns on the charm, Hollywood-style *
Long in the tooth and short of ideas, producer Robert Evans lives out his teen fantasies in the animated series Kid Notorious, ANDREW RYAN writes [More]

King of the airwaves *
It feels very odd grilling Larry King... [More]

Laughing in the New Year *
After reaching a certain age you come to realize that Jackie Gleason was right all along: New Year's Eve is for amateurs. It takes style to stay home and entertain yourself. [More]

Leaders focus on scandal *
The sponsorship scandal and government waste — the very issues that sent the Liberals from the position of an easy election win to a downward spiral that may lead to a minority government — dominated the start of Monday night's French-language debate for the federal election. [More]

Leno can joke about Jackson, judge rules *
A judge gave late-night TV comedian Jay Leno his blessing yesterday to tell virtually all the jokes he wants about pop star Michael Jackson and his child-molestation trial. [More]

Let's bring Simple Life's twinkies to Canada *
Last time I checked -- and I do check regularly -- The Simple Life (Fox, CTV, 8 p.m.) was the hot, giggle-fest reality TV show. [More]

Let's forget Demi and Snoop Dogg tonight *
There's a wonderful program airing tonight, which celebrates David Attenborough, a man who has used television to contribute enormously to the culture. [More]

Let's keep Conan's T.O. visit in perspective, people *
Did everybody around here take a giddy pill? It's either the giddy pills or we really are rubes. In the presence of American celebrities -- even B-list ones -- we can be just so gauche. If the celebrity pays attention to Canada, we prattle with delight and fawn over them. [More]

Lonesome cowboy *
ANDREW RYAN talks to the next Joe Millionaire, a ranch hand from Texas who was whisked off to Europe to wine, dine and hoodwink 14 hapless bachelorettes. [More]

Long live Buffy *
The network can kill off the ultimate high-school story of friendship and grrl-power, but CARL WILSON predicts the show's enduring feeling will live on forever in the minds of its fans [More]

Look, up on the Web, it's . . . *
A tiny Canadian company helps out American Express with its latest brand-me-different attempt, Superman and Seinfeld advertising 'webisodes,' writes GAYLE MacDONALD. [More]

Losing the playboy of the western world *
Charlie Sheen is sitting there, looking pensive. That's not how the world expects Charlie Sheen to look. He's supposed to be one of the wild men of Hollywood. He's universally notorious as one of the great playboys of the western world. [More]

Lovesick hacks struck dumb by supertwinkies *
Whether it's the summer or winter gathering of TV Hacks on Tour (TVHOT), the event is crawling with twinkies. [More]

Low points in Cancon *
Waving the white flag for cheesy TV, Celine Dion and navel-gazing Canadian writers [More]

Lynn Coady: If only this trash would take me out *
To be a fan of good television is to live in a perpetual state of anxiety. It's like dating the latest in a thrilling yet doomed series of superlative lovers. Someone new and intoxicating -- endlessly hot, endlessly fascinating. Yet the whole time you're with him, all you can think is, "Oh no, it's so good." You've been burned one time too many. [More]

Major networks dominate Geminis *
The usual suspects dominated the list of Gemini nominees in the TV news, documentary and sports categories released yesterday. [More]

Matt Groening Warns Of Simpsons Revenge *
The Simpsons creator Matt Groening has issued a warning for celebrities who turn down parts on the show: they risk being ridiculed in future episodes. [More]

Maybe it's time we saw Al-Jazeera for ourselves *
There is a possibility that we could have Al-Jazeera available on cable in Canada next year, and that possibility is causing a hell of an argument. [More]

Memo to CBC comics: There's only so much news *
The brother was on the blower last week. His reason for calling was an alleged agreement that he "keep an eye on the box" for me while I was on leave and in L.A. He had remarks to convey about the CBC's new Monday-night schedule. [More]

Mercer wins Ustinov Award at Banff fest *
Political satirist Rick Mercer will be honoured next month at the Banff Television Festival. [More]

Meredith, bless her, would rather be a food stylist *
Part of the point of being here at TV Hacks on Tour (TVHOT) is to see, up close and personal, the American show-biz machine and celebrity culture in motion. The task has its ups and downs. [More]

Microsoft launches TV software platform *
Microsoft Corp. on Monday plans to unveil new software to help cable television companies develop digital TV programming and services. [More]

Miss America ratings plunge *
Like a lacquered perm on a sweltering summer day, Miss America's ratings continue to droop. [More]

MTV rewinds 20 years in Video Music Awards show *
Just like her first time, Madonna made jaws drop and cheeks blush at the 20th annual MTV Video Music Awards — only she had help Thursday night from the latest generation of video divas, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. [More]

MTV Virtual Performance Movie Award goes to monster Gollum *
You don't have to exist to get an MTV Movie Award. [More]

Myers, Fox, BNL join Conan's Canuck lineup *
Comedians Mike Myers, Adam Sandler and Ron James, actors Michael J. Fox and Eric McCormack (Will and Grace), and the popular rock bands Nickelback and Barenaked Ladies are among the high-profile names signed to appear as guests on Late Night with Conan O'Brien during its four-night run in Toronto next month. [More]

Naked men give it to you straight *
The teaser for the new current-affairs program goes like this: "Let us show you the world the way you've never seen it before." [More]

Networks at sea as old rules are tossed out *
Yesterday I was telling you that this will be the burnout year for American TV as we know it. The old guard is toast. I get like that when I'm down here. [More]

Networks keen to offer TV shows on-line *
Networks are tripping over each other in the rush to offer everything from individual programs to season subscriptions -- online. Web viewers can even watch some shows for free -- with advertising, of course. [More]

Next season: What's hot and not *
Hardly anybody has seen the pilot episodes for the new American network shows and some haven't even been made yet. Network executives and some ad buyers have seen the pilots but their stamp of approval is no guarantee of quality. The same alleged experts have endorsed dozens of failures. [More]

Norm Macdonald's wit is wasted on latest Fox fare *
Normally, it requires minimal effort to ignore what emanates from the Fox Network, if only because it's most often sensational fare geared to lunch-pail America. The Fox universe entails a vast fast-food viewership that must gorge daily like any great beast. [More]

Notes to self: Keep tabs on Conan; junk Janet *
It's a packed week of television with many good programs, several gross things, and a plethora of in-betweenies. We'd better make a list. [More]

Nothing makes terrific TV like a fallen Idol *
So it's just possible that Canadian Idol (CTV, 8 p.m.) is bigger than I thought. [More]

O'Brien aftershocks reverberate in U.S. media *
Nearly a week after U.S. talk-show host Conan O'Brien stumbled into a Canadian political controversy, the aftershocks are finally hitting the American media. [More]

O'Brien pokes fun at Globe *
Conan O'Brien doesn't kick off his week of shows from Toronto until next Tuesday, but already he's taking gentle shots at some pillars of Canadian culture, including The Globe and Mail. [More]

On 24, they're dropping like flies *
Did you see 24 the other night? It's outrageous, already -- three episodes in, and they're dropping like flies. First the prison guard whose son had been kidnapped by the sleazy drug-dealer fella strangled that cop. [More]

On your mark, TV ad buyers *
It's time to place bets on which shows might be hits, writes GAYLE MacDONALD, noting there's roughly $2.9-billion at stake [More]

Once again, the devil makes work for Idol hands *
Brace yourselves -- this Canadian Idol thing (CTV, 8 p.m., tonight Wednesday, Thursday) is with us again. [More]

Oprah to keep talking for two more seasons *
Talk-show queen Oprah Winfrey has signed up to host her ratings-topping show for another two seasons, her production company said this week. [More]

Osbournes airing all summer long *
School's out, but The Osbournes are back in session. [More]

Osbournes lose a family member *
The Osbournes reality show has lost a member of the family. [More]

OSCAR UNWRAPPED (Groen) *
It used to be clear -- the tripe was on the tube and films were where something finer occasionally emerged. But now, the best of TV offerings easily rival Oscar's finest flicks, RICK GROEN writes. [More]

Oscar, you look mahvelous! *
Billy Crystal is back to helm the Academy Awards. Thank goodness, JOHN DOYLE writes. [More]

Oscars 2004: Backstage, there's comedy, nerves and drama *
As a cart with 51 glistening Oscars is wheeled into the wings of the stage, Robin Williams arrived and immediately began cracking off-colour jokes to anyone who would listen. Everyone groans. . . [More]

Oscars saved as Hollywood writers' and Producers Reach 'Tentative Deal' *
Striking writers --who have manned picket lines since October -- could be back to work next week, breathing new hope and life into the 2008 Academy Awards show. [More]

Outback Jack puts a scrimp on the Barbies *
The new reality series Outback Jack (TBS, 8 p.m.) is no way to treat a lady, or ladies. Or anyone, really, even vapid American beauties who willingly went Down Under to wobble about the bush in three-inch heels and catfight for the affections of a hunky but crude Aussie bloke. When did TV become so mean to Actress-Model-Whatevers? [More]

Paris Hilton Late Show...no-show *
Socialite Paris Hilton, star of an upcoming Fox reality series and an inadvertent Internet icon, is pulling out of her announced November 26 interview on David Letterman's Late Show. [More]

Peter and the crew troop off to Kabul *
It was touch and go for a few hours, but Peter Mansbridge, CBC chief correspondent and anchor of The National, and several other journalists, producers and technicians arrived in Kabul over the weekend in preparation for almost a week of broadcasts from the Afghan capital. [More]

Peter Krause: Under the skin of a role to die for *
Six Feet Under star and Emmy-nominee Peter Krause reflects on living in the shadow of his TV character, GAYLE MacDONALD writes [More]

Playing to the Idols *
Sure it's hokey, staged and fodder for screaming tween-agers. But at a taping of Canadian Idol, JOHANNA SCHNELLER also discovers something positive [More]

Playoff picture bright in Canada *
The first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs has delivered a gift to Canadian television -- its best schedule in years. [More]

Political shenanigans on TV, too *
The biggest story in this great country right is now is the fall-out from another outbreak of sleazy financial shenanigans in Ottawa. [More]

Poo-poohing the Conan show *
Mike Myers told a poo joke. That much I remember. The rest is kind of hazy and has to be pieced together. [More]

Press conference rigged, producers say *
The producers of the heartwarming Anne of Green Gables TV shows alleged in court yesterday that author Lucy Maud Montgomery's heirs deliberately set out to torpedo a public offering by Sullivan Entertainment four years ago. [More]

Putting Dead Heads and Trekkies to shame *
As CBC gives Coronation Street a prime-time slot, its unlikely fans raise a pint to bigamy, eating toast and psycho killers. [More]

Putting the sports fan in the director's chair *
Interactive TV had some weak spots, but it did allow the viewers to play. [More]

Queer Power: Makeover or takeover? *
On TV's newest reality shows, straight men are flirting with gays, and gay men are telling straight guys how to dress for success. Is this as radical as it sounds, asks KAMAL AL-SOLAYLEE - or a belated nod to the power of queers to shape straight culture? [More]

Quirky Fox jumps over the rival networks *
Derided for some of its cheesy shows, the upstart Fox's willingness to gamble on the offbeat has paid off, JOHN DOYLE writes [More]

Quotable Conan *
Some one-liners from Conan O'Brien's first monologue Tuesday night... [More]

Rare cases where you learn about law from TV *
Whenever people gather, one of two things happen -- they talk about the weather or they tell lawyer jokes. [More]

Ratings up 17 per cent for Oscars *
They slew beasts, toppled tyrants and destroyed a ring of ultimate evil, becoming lords of the Academy Awards for their troubles. [More]

Real-life toxic drama hits TV's 90210 school *
Brockovich's firm files class-action suits on behalf of sick Beverly Hills students. [More]

Reality TV's plat du jour *
The Restaurant aims to find drama in something more common than eating bugs in the Outback, SIMON HOUPT writes [More]

Reality TV: tacky but durable *
...The connection between polyester and programming... [More]

Residents mobilize to fight Trump *
When Donald Trump fires the last wannabe employee tomorrow night and brings the two-hour season finale of The Apprentice to a close, he'll award the other man standing -- either Bill Rancic or Kwame Jackson - with what he calls a dream job. [More]

Revamped Bullard show closes the Mike *
The new strategy seems to rely less on the comic's monologue and more on his guest variety acts, MICHAEL POSNER writes. [More]

Rick Mercer a sly Mr. Nice Guy *
'Toquaplasia" reads a scribbled note on a board in Rick Mercer's office. "Oh, it's just an idea," he says, glancing at the word and waving away any importance it may have. "Some horrible head disease Canadians get from wearing toques," he explains under his breath as he chuckles at his own potential joke. [More]

Rock's sad princes and princesses *
As we can see from American Idol, its Canadian knockoff and those many other talent shows on TV, it seems most people on the planet want to be pop stars. [More]

Roseanne feels the hot flashes of TV *
The once-ubiquitous star is back, and this time she's being nice. Or trying to, at least [More]

Salter Street Films to close *
As Salter Streets Films Ltd. co-founder Paul Donovan says, he's in "an incredibly good mood" as the small Halifax production company prepares to close it doors only a few months after winning an Academy Award. [More]

Salter Street gets shuttered *
Salter Street Films, the small Oscar-winning Halifax-based production company behind This Hour Has 22 Minutes, will be shut down permanently early next year. [More]

Salter Street Productions: The day the boss yelled 'Cut!' *
Pondering the demise of his Salter Street Productions, Michael Donovan says, 'I feel deeply upset and sad.' [More]

Sarah McLachlan to perform at Grammy Awards *
Singer Sarah McLachlan will perform Sunday at the Grammy Awards in Los Angeles. [More]

SARS coverage fuels fear instead of calming it *
The way the SARS crisis has played out on TV has been bizarre to watch. The upshot is that these are the plague years in Toronto. I keep expecting to turn on CNN and find some excitable reporter informing an international audience that in Toronto there are body-laden carts being dragged through the streets by dyspeptic city employees who call out, "Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!" [More]

Sex and the City airs final episode in U.S. *
Note: Spoiler in this story. Do not read on, if you do know wish to know who Carrie chooses! [More]

Shameless NBC invites you into The Lyon's Den *
NBC is the network that knows no shame. It's brash, sneaky, snippety, underhanded and Machiavellian. [More]

Sick of sleaze, viewers turn to sitcoms, dramas *
If I've got the story straight, this For Love or Money (NBC, CTV, 9 p.m.) thing has gotten totally out of hand. [More]

Signature Shorts Live: Readings of winners' works at CBC Vancouver *
August 8, 2003, Vancouver, BC -- the winning screenplays of CBC Television and BC Film's Signature Short Screenwriting competition are brought to life -- admission by donation. Loads of prizes, too. [More]

Simpsons humans want more d'oh *
— Homer and the rest of The Simpsons are holding out for more “d'oh.” [More]

Singin' the PBS blues *
The earnest broadcaster has always been unwittingly entertaining on the critics' tour, ANDREW RYAN writes. But now Martin Scorsese has climbed on the bandwagon [More]

Six Feet Under, The West Wing lead Emmy pack *
Everybody in Hollywood got up very early yesterday morning -- the 2003 prime-time Emmy nominations were announced at exactly 5:38 a.m. local time. It turned out that it really wasn't worth the effort, unless you were counting the number of Canadian actors and productions nominated. [More]

Six Feet Under, The West Wing lead Emmy pack *
Everybody in Hollywood got up very early yesterday morning -- the 2003 prime-time Emmy nominations were announced at exactly 5:38 a.m. local time. It turned out that it really wasn't worth the effort, unless you were counting the number of Canadian actors and productions nominated. [More]

Slugs and snails and Trailer Park Boys *
The boys are back. They're smoking dope, swearing a blue streak and generally being as stupid as mud. [More]

Soccer boy is back! Don't get him started *
A fella goes away for a few weeks to cover the soccer tournament in Portugal, then takes a few weeks off, and what happens? All manner of amazing things, actually. Don't get me started. [More]

Some are born great, others are voted great on TV *
The country has gone hockey mad, as it usually does at this time of the year. There is nothing else on television. But soon, you know, it will all fade. [More]

Something is rotten in the state of reality-TV *
It's all happening on the reality-TV front. Such is the constant swirl of information and outrage about reality-TV concepts that I'm obliged to give you a weekly update. [More]

Sometimes this TV biz makes you want to shower *
Great Moments at Work No. 1: It's a little after 8:30 a.m. and Gail Berman, the president of Fox, is yammering about the tactic of regularly changing the day and time of Fox shows. As people in the real world know, this is a tactic which annoys viewers. [More]

Son of a rebel, the people's poet, 'a bit of a swine' *
A new TV series depicts Shakespeare as a civil libertarian living in fear of the Queen's police, but a scholar insists his poetic legacy is all that matters, writes RAY CONLOGUE. [More]

SONY Digital Cameras, Camcorders and accessories *
Special Offers on Sony Digital Cameras, Camcorders and accessories at the Official Sony Store. . . [More]

Sorkin a casualty of prime-time ratings warfare *
News of the departure of Aaron Sorkin from The West Wing got a lot of attention last week, mainly because the show really matters to media people. The coverage tended to concentrate on declining ratings and rumours of budget problems, and the speculation was that these were the main reasons for Sorkin's decision to quit. [More]

Sorkin leaving The West Wing *
Saying it’s time to take on new challenges, Aaron Sorkin has announced he is leaving NBC’s The West Wing, the Emmy-winning White House drama he created four years ago. [More]

SpikeTV promises nothing, delivers less *
Gentlemen, start your converters: SpikeTV is finally here. And if you're very good, your wives or girlfriends or moms may even let you watch, for a little while. [More]

Spoilers: Guess what happens next? *
Spoilers just can't wait for the movie or TV show. They want to know how the plot unfolds now, even if it wrecks it for others. [More]

Sports fans get brain workout *
Hey, mom, I'm exercising my brain: Whether watching a game or playing, cerebral patterns are quite similar, researcher says. [More]

Stephen Colbert causes Wikipedia chaos *
Stephen Colbert, who hosts the Comedy Channel's nightly show The Colbert Report, has caused bedlam on the popular user-supported encyclopaedia site Wikipedia, by urging viewers to assail its pages with made-up "facts." [More]

Stephen Colbert Gets a Double Scoop of AmeriCone Dream *
Ice Cream’s Ben & Jerry Salute Flavour on "The Colbert Report." [More]

Stewart's program taken off Viacom stations *
Martha Stewart's syndicated television show, Martha Stewart Living, was taken off the air Monday on Viacom-owned CBS and UPN stations. [More]

Summer TV takes you to the limits *
Like an old fellow settling into a chaise lounge, CBC gears down noticeably in the long, hot summer and always has. It's for the better. [More]

Summertime, and the channel surfing is fluffy *
If you live in this neck of the woods you'll understand why it took until last weekend for the change of season to become evident to me. Although I've been writing about the May sweeps for weeks, it hasn't felt like we're on the cusp of summer. Summer seemed to happening somewhere else. [More]

Survivor lightens up as it heads back to the island *
The drama opens with footage of Panama City. Then we see a big sailboat moving across the sea. There's a vaguely familiar-looking fella on the deck, yammering at the camera. [More]

Sweet dreamer is a breath of fresh air *
We have some kind of crazies in Canada. We have daft dreamers and obsessives who are, thankfully, benign. They make great fodder for droll documentaries that illuminate the sweet eccentricity of this country. [More]

Take my family . . . please *
Britain's docu-reality hit Wife Swap is like National Geographic meets The Osbournes. Of course, it's coming to North America [More]

Talking Pictures: Barf. . .How did the Food Channel Get So Unappetizing? *
John Keyes -- evalu8.org's intrepid Film & TV Editor -- has a Food Network melt-down that has nothing, but nothing to do with tuna-melt. [More]

Television programs saved by funding flip-flop *
Twenty-six Canadian television shows and movies have been brought back from the edge of extinction thanks to a $12.5-million federal refund to the Canadian Television Fund. [More]

Television: Pitch-and-spin business is getting out of hand *
It's May, which means it's summer. Not according to the Gregorian calendar we in the West use, but according to Hollywood money men on the West Coast, who recently adjusted their accounting practices to now include the whole of May in their summer box-office tallying. [More]

Telus licensed to sell television service *
B.C., Alberta move blurs telecom line -- now you can get crappy Tech Support for your TV, too. [More]

Thank God, the Giller's got Mary Walsh to host *
When an event is aired live and simultaneously on the main network of CBC, a cable channel and a digital channel, it must be a very big deal. [More]

The ballad of the unsung musicians *
A fascinating new series about Canada's lesser-known talents rips the cover off the industry's star system and lets the artists tell their own stories, GUY DIXON writes. [More]

The Conan joke's on us *
I knew it would end in tears. Far be it from me to say "I told you so," but what the heck -- last week I did politely point out that Conan O'Brien's core audience consists of young men with a decidedly uncouth, unsophisticated sense of humour. [More]

The Daily Show: Bee dazzled *
'It was very crazy and unexpected' to be whisked from Toronto to New York to make news that amuses, The Daily Show's Canadian component tells SIMON HOUPT. [More]

The dead arise and appear to many *
I've heard about Turkey Tuesdays, but this is ridiculous.

People, consider the situation -- after almost four weeks on the lam, I return and expect to be able to deliver a resoundingly positive review of something on TV to entertain and enlighten you. I am raring to go. I have new, sharpened pencils, a spanking new binder for note-taking and a thesaurus to guide me on the many adjectives I'll need to describe the wonderfulness of it all. [More]

The Dead Zone ***
Never one of Stephen King's most celebrated novels, his 1979 offering The Dead Zone, has proven to be one of his most enduring. [More]

The Eleventh Hour is now *
The critically acclaimed drama has adopted a sexy 'guns and bums' approach as a survival strategy for its second season. But it has only three episodes to prove itself to viewers, GAYLE MacDONALD writes. [More]

The empty inanity of American celebrity *
The two big shows tonight are The Tonight Show With Jay Leno and The Real Roseanne Show. The flash-mob phenomenon isn't on TV, but it's connected. Stick with me here. [More]

The fall campaign just ain't what it used to be *
It's barely a month until the arrival of the fall TV season, in case you're counting down the days, though I dearly hope it hasn't come to that. [More]

The Fraser Institute is shaking its jowls at me *
You're nothing in this country until you've been attacked by the Fraser Institute. [More]

The furor over Hitler *
Critics circled from the start. A producer was fired for making controversial comments. And the lead actor fretted about getting into character. But now a miniseries about history's epic villain is finally ready to air, GAYLE MacDONALD writes [More]

The good, the so-so and the don't go there *
If you want flashy, this might look like a mediocre crop of new shows, JOHN DOYLE writes. Think of it instead as a snapshot of the nervous, troubled American psyche [More]

The Handler's handler has no regrets *
JOHN DOYLE discovers Chris Haddock is in a great mood, despite the cancellation of his network TV series. [More]

The lights are on but nobody's home at The Times *
First, the news. The New York Times, a paper of wobbly reliability these days, has unleashed a TV-related, hold-the-front-page scoop. It stunned me, for sure. [More]

The little network that could, and did *
It may be located on the nosebleed end of the dial, but native broadcaster APTN's delivery of a nightly newscast has boosted its numbers and its reputation, GRAEME SMITH writes [More]

The long, long goodbye to Friends finally ends *
There's no way around it: Tonight belongs to the Friends finale. [More]

The Mary Tyler Moore Show: The Complete First Season DVD set ***
ISBN:B00005JLIC
Some missing elements, but still a solid collection. [More]

The O.C. scores hit with reality-weary viewers *
Tonight's big deal is the season finale of The O.C. (Fox, CTV, 9 p.m.), a show that has become a hit, against all the odds. [More]

The party's over for Friends *
At a pretentious presser with the cast of the sitcom, JOHN DOYLE finds the chums bored and ready to move on. [More]

The Polleys: In their family way *
Sarah Polley and her dad talk to GAYLE MacDONALD about working together on TV's The Harp. [More]

The Pool (Alexiou review) ** 1/2
If you are planning to have your friends over for drinks and mindless fun, and want something on the TV that doesn't demand too much attention, than you could do worse than The Pool. Of course, you could do a lot better. [More]

The projected vanities of Roseanne *
Barr's struggle between nasty and nice may hook audiences, CATHERINE DAWSON MARCH writes [More]

The smart and dumb decisions of TV execs *
Oh, cheer up, for heavens sake. It's Tuesday already. There is lots to look forward to: Somebody is probably going to be shot tonight on 24 (Fox, Global, 9 p.m.), in a thrilling twist. Me, I have money on that whiny guy from CTU who is dating Kim. That dude is asking for it. [More]

The smart money is on Trump's women *
Attention people of Bay Street and other business types operating outside the centre of the universe. There is money to be made. [More]

The Sopranos back on top *
The HBO mob series The Sopranos came up big at last night's 55th Emmy Awards. [More]

The Sunday-morning say-nothing spin *
I read in the paper the other day that Paul Martin was going on the offensive. I said to myself, "I know what that means -- he's going on TV. [More]

The war that never went away *
A Canadian TV series on the Korean War probes secrets the U.S. would prefer to forget, writes RAY CONLOGUE. [More]

There's crass and then there's class *
You know, this gig is not entirely a matter of life in the crass lane. [More]

This kid stays in the picture *
Cara Pifko was singing on television at age 7. Two decades and a bevy of credits later, she's at the centre of a new CBC series, MICHAEL POSNER writes. [More]

This show biz is only really fun for the skeptics *
There's a lot of show biz on TV this weekend. That doesn't mean that there's a lot of fun to be had unless you're one of those people who is awed by celebrities and inside information about movies and TV. But to truly enjoy the menu this weekend, you have to begin with a skeptical, satiric attitude. Fortunately, things kick off with a tailor-made satire about TV itself. [More]

This true crime story is worth the watching *
The CBC has been on a crime kick recently. It has also committed some scheduling crimes, but that's another story. [More]

This will make your tail wag *
It was just a matter of time before the madcap reality trend extended to the animal kingdom -- and hardly a surprise Fox thought of it first. [More]

Three new shows make it a big night for CBC *
Apparently it's been exciting while I was on leave. A disoriented vagrant was presented on TV as a captured Saddam Hussein. Alliance Atlantis shut down Salter Street Films and generally behaved with the pre-Christmas ruthlessness that, in fiction, guarantees a place in hell for the perpetrators. Britney Spears got married and ditched the hubby, all in one day. Hell for her too. Mike Bullard kept complaining. He'd better watch it. [More]

Thrilling TV drama, Italian-style *
The CRTC has to choose sides in a bitter battle between RAI and Telelatino. [More]

Tiptoeing around the hype of Canadian Idol *
Tonight's the night Canadian Idol goes live, children. This is when it gets harsh. This is when the shrill-o-meter arcs up, with young contestants bulging their neck tendons while screeching Toni Braxton and Alannah Myles covers, bless 'em. [More]

Tom Green: the new Carson? *
Tom Green is back behind a desk, and he's wearing a suit, doing TV talk-show shtick with a sidekick and a musical accompanist. All that seems to be missing from the pat format is Ed McMahon's chortle. [More]

Tracking Clifford Olson makes for creepy viewing *
On the cusp of a new TV season, CTV airs a terrific Canadian thriller this weekend. The Investigation (Sunday, CTV, 8 p.m.) is a TV movie about the scrambled search for, and arrest of, Clifford Olson. [More]

Trailer Park Boys *
The Trailer Park Boys are going to America. [More]

Trailer trash: Oh FKUC -- The Boys are back *
The air may be thick with obscenities, but that hasn't stopped fans of TV's Trailer Park Boys, on both sides of the border, from making it a cult hit, SHAWNA RICHER writes. [More]

Train 48 back on track for new season *
Maybe it's the medication but I thought Train 48 (Global, 7 p.m.) wasn't bad at all. [More]

Trump towers in ratings game. Go figure *
It is one of life's truisms that a joke one person finds funny is mystifying to somebody else. I was reminded of this on Tuesday. I also learned that while many people are aware of Microsoft's current advertising campaign, called Great Moments at Work, others are not. [More]

TV advertisers lose their best Friends *
Buyers lament end of blockbuster sitcoms... [More]

TV favourites take their final bow at Emmys *
Friends, Frasier, Sex and the City earn multiple nods. . . [More]

TV linked to attention problems. . .huh? *
Here's some news that will make parents think twice before using the television as a babysitter: A new study has found that the more time preschoolers spend in front of the tube, the greater their risk of having attention problems by school age. [More]

TV networks living on Fantasy Island *
Canadian broadcasters and producers are going to have to integrate more with "the global media business" to prosper in "the new digital environment." [More]

TV SARStock was just not about the music *
I'm still steamed about the TV coverage of the big SARStock jamboree on Wednesday. I daresay I'm not the only one. [More]

TV that dares to go beyond cops and robbers *
The HBO series The Wire (TMN, MovieCentral, 10 p.m.) is easily the best show on television. Put simply, it's a masterpiece of storytelling, drama, humour and social observation. [More]

Tv Tonight: Damsels in distress: the tube match *
It's the biggest TV sweeps fight of the season. ANDREW RYAN pulls no punches in his tale of the tape: Lynch v. Smart. [More]

TV too blue, group says *
The use of foul language on television is increasing, a study of the major U.S. broadcast networks indicates. [More]

TV: Dissecting the dead Oswald *
Today we enter the country of Kennedy conspiracy theories. This is no country for the gullible, the paranoid and the vulnerable. It's a strange, forbidding territory, filled with obsessives, amnesiacs, egotists and con artists. [More]

Twenty-two short blurbs about TV tonight *
Absolutely nothing on television this evening requires the usual extended blather. I searched and searched and trust me, please -- But let's get crazy... [More]

Two rich, weird dudes in one week: how sweet *
Late last week, American television seemed to go insane. But it wasn't true madness. There was method in it all -- a gleeful indulgence in enjoying the discomfort and looming downfall of one rich, weird, and allegedly predatory, celebrity. [More]

Two Texas CBS affiliates won't air Hitler series *
The CBS affiliate in Corpus Christi, TX, has opted not to air a miniseries dramatizing the young life of Adolf Hitler. Dale Remy, general manager of KZTV Channel 10, said he was concerned that the film could give harmful ideas to white supremacists and disturbed young people. [More]

Walters leaving 20/20 after 25 years *
Barbara Walters says she is departing the ABC news magazine show 20/20 after 25 years because she wants to "leave at the top" and avoid being forced out. [More]

Wanted: Canucks in the buff (NOT a hockey story!) *
Lots of guys are willing to drop their trousers for a shot at stardom, reports REBECCA CALDWELL [More]